Port Grand - Karachi's Food Street

Gone are the days when “we have a beach” used to be the ultimate comeback every Karachiite gave in the ongoing battle for supremacy between Karachi and Lahore.

The new comeback is “we have Port Grand”.

Sameer was dragged to Port Grand by his friends. He admits he wasn’t enthusiastic about the idea as he felt it was yet another dating spot for teenagers and a class-discriminatory entertainment place, designed specifically for the elites. After all, an entrance fee of Rs. 300 seemed quite hefty. And it wasn’t like food at restaurants was getting any cheaper. But Sameer was wrong.

Having dressed carefully in one of his fancy t-shirts and best pair of jeans from Levi’s, Sameer felt suitably ready for Port Grand. What he wasn’t ready for was falling in love with the place so much that the very next day he decided to take his family there.

Port Grand is picturesque: a pebbled walk-way leads to a beautiful garden-like setting, with light background music playing from speakers set atop pillars. The blowing wind and the atmosphere are so peaceful, that one can’t help but repose. Port Grand opens only in evenings (6 p.m. onwards) and is an ideal place to just sit back and reflect or simply share precious moments with your loved ones. Sameer thought it was the perfect way to celebrate the end of exams. Moreover, he realized that the “Families Only” rule was meant to ensure that families feel comfortable visiting Port Grand and it is not a place exclusive to elites or teenagers.

Port Grand is essentially Karachi’s food street. Sameer would like to go in excruciating details about the hot parathas, scrumptious malai chicken dripping in white sauce or the ever-pleasing seekh kabab that melts oh-so tenderly in the mouth that he had at Ghaffar’s, or perhaps the cheesy jalapeno fries of One Potato, Two Potato, but he knows the description will only make you hungry and he wants to share some interesting tidbits that he learned before you speed away to your kitchen.

Port Grand is located beneath the Native Jetty Bridge (commonly known as the Netty Jetty Bridge). The area was first developed in 1854 when the Port of Karachi began to take its current shape. Interestingly, Native Jetty ranks number 5 on the list of “Top Ten Bridges People Are Most Likely To Jump Off” (the entire list can be seen here). While the location may have a troublesome history, Port Grand is Asia’s biggest food street, with an investment of over 1 billion rupees and is therefore, Karachi’s pride. The complex was conceived and built by the Grand Leisure Corporation as a ‘gift’ to Karachi, the City of Lights.

Around 40 outlets are fully functional at Port Grand and more are to open soon. Moreover, the complex will facilitate promotion of culture and heritage in the near future. With a valet parking service for 800 cars and an entrance fee of Rs. 300 per head (out of which Rs. 200 is redeemable at the food outlets), Sameer finds Port Grand quite a hotspot and recommends it to everyone searching for a get-away from the sweltering heat of Karachi and the constant load-shedding.

For those of you who haven’t been to Port Grand yet, what in the world are you waiting for?

Bol

It’s hard to sit through a 3-hour long movie. Add some over-acting, cheap comedy, elaborate dance sequences and senseless masala and you not only have the recipe for the perfect Bolly/Lollywood hit but also a guaranteed way to torture your (ever-ready-to-please) male counterparts.

The absence of all of the above is what made Khuda Keliye, Shoaib Mansoor’s first venture, an epic watch for Sameer. Khuda Keliye was a refreshing blend of a powerful story revolving around meaningful issues, excellent acting and a decent soundtrack. Sameer had never watched a Pakistani movie before Khuda Keliye and he had to admit, it was an impressive attempt. And so, when Sameer’s cousins made a plan to go watch Bol, Shoaib Mansoor’s second feature film, he thought it would be a good way to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon.

The tickets for Atrium Mall’s cinema were bought for Rs. 400 apiece. Personally, Sameer would have loved to go to one of the cheaper cinemas but it was his first foray into the new mall and besides, he could never take his sisters to Capri or Prince Cinemas; Sameer was very well aware of the kind of crowd that turned up in those places.

While Bol attempted to underscore some of the pressing social issues (mistreatment of eunuchs, suppression of women, prostitution and people’s misunderstanding of the teachings of Islam), Sameer felt that it failed to capture the essence of any of the aforementioned ideas. The movie, unlike its predecessor, focused on dramatization more than content: the link between the first and second halves of the movie was missing, concepts were left untouched and gaps remained in the story-line. Sameer was unimpressed. However, he did appreciate the performances delivered by Humaima Malik, Shafqat Cheema and Iman Ali.

For now, Sameer is done watching Pakistani movies. And to avoid watching Indian movies with his family, he will have to do something about the fact that while his mother cries during each and every Shahrukh Khan movie, she doesn’t understand what happens in The Dark Knight. 

Driving...how hard can it be?

Place left foot on clutch and right foot on accelerator.

Shift gear from neutral to first with an upward, left push.

Slowly, ease off clutch and put pressure on accelerator.

Oh and did I forget? Keep hands on steering wheel in a 10:10 position. No, not 11:05 and certainly not 9:15.

And while you are driving, keep eyes on the road but maintain visual through the rear and side-view mirrors, use the clutch with the brake or else the car will jerk, slow down over speed breakers or turns or bridges and whenever the car starts making a whirrrrrrr noise it means you have to change the gear so press the clutch while changing the gear and increasing the speed.

Easy enough, don’t you think so?

Sameer does. Tired of driving his sisters, mother and even cousins around, he finally put his foot down (no not on the brakes, figuratively) and complained to his father that his sisters should learn to drive on their own. Sameer was so sick of being everyone’s personal chauffer that he volunteered to teach Sadia (elder of his two sisters) himself.

It was a huge mistake. If there’s anything more frustrating than having to drive people around, it’s teaching them how to drive themselves around.

The lessons began with Sameer showing Sadia the pedals, the gears and how the car runs. The first stage went well but the problems started when he asked her to drive in a straight line in an empty playground. Sadia simply could not muster up the confidence needed and kept stalling the car. Sameer lost his patience with her more than once, which made matters worse. But Sameer knew the real issue was that Sadia thought she would never be given the car on her own to drive. He wasn’t sure how he’d convince abba to let Sadia out on her own with the car but he continued the lessons.

It’s been two months since the practice started and today, Sadia can drive well, as long as she stays below 50 kmph. But the real challenge is reversing and parking the car and Sameer knows this is where most women fail and need to enlist help. He dreads even beginning the lesson because he wonders who will give up first: he or Sadia?

Who is Sameer?

He’s unlike anyone you know. No I am not declaring what every girl wishes to say about her special someone; I’m describing Sameer. The reason for this statement is that Sameer is an entirely fictional character. But like most fictional characters, he bears an uncanny resemblance to living persons. In fact, from afar, he would appear to be an ordinary Karachiite.

Sameer is a person torn between two worlds: one the one hand he floats in the opulent bubble of the rich and famous and on the other, he is strung in the problems-fraught lives of the middle-class. How he became a part of these two worlds is a tale for another. Today, let’s find out more about him.

Sameer has one true love in his life: photography. For now, he has to make-do with his Sony Cybershot DSC-H20 digital camera that he paid for himself (with savings of 8 months and his eidi). Since his parents deem photography an idle pleasure that must be exercised with care lest it interfere with Sameer’s studies, he intends to take up professional photography only once he’s done with his Bachelor’s and is fully independent.

Why is Sameer content with putting his dreams on hold while he fulfills his parents’? The reason lies in an incident that took place on June 14, 2008…but more on that later.

All you need to know today is that Sameer has spent his teenage years amidst some of the richest and most influential people of Karachi. What few of his school friends realized though, was that he wasn’t rich and influential like them. He comes from an ordinary middle-class family. A family where the amma (mother) does not partake in kitty parties but rather a daily ritual of slurping chai (tea) off the tashtari (saucer) and the abba (father) takes Marwat (a bus) to work rather than being driven in a chauffeured company car.

His dual existence has given him a unique eye to viewing the world. While Sameer commutes daily in buses, eats with his hands and abuses largely in Urdu, he has also gone drifting in a Mercedes, taken a swig of a Dom Perignon and sworn to Jesus.

Sameer now stands at a crossroads. He cannot be a part of two such different worlds without losing himself along the way. Will he choose the lavish lifestyle he was exposed to as a child or continue life as a commoner? That is to be seen.